To whom it may concern,

It has come to my attention that the Ukrainian government is willing to pay bloggers to repeat pro-Yanukovych talking points. My blog may not be a dedicated political vehicle, nor does it have the readership numbers of, say, redstate.com, but The Spoony Bardiche does have a dedicated, diverse following of Eastern-European-history enthusiasts, whom I will happily exploit in exchange for a small compensation.

Apparently, the "going rate" for the services you request is $500, but I will happily accept as little as half of that. And even that token payment is really a net gain for you, since I intend to spend it all on 28mm Muscovite miniatures, which I will use to further illustrate the virtues of Slavic hegemony in the face of the decadent, meddling West.

Thank you for your time.